Abusive marriage: I regret killing my husband, says wife

A 20 -year old housewife, Caroline Barka, who was arrested for allegedly stabbing her husband to death in Adamawa State has said she is a victim of domestic violence and spousal deprivation which forced her into doing menial jobs for N1, 000.

Caroline said she regretted stabbing her husband, saying she could have walked away from the abusive marriage.

In an interview with The PUNCH, the 20-year-old said, “I met my late husband when I was still a pupil in a secondary school at Deywanga, in the Madagali Local Government Area of Adamawa State. He was a mason. His aunt lived in our compound, so he usually visited her. It was the aunt who first introduced him to me and suggested he take me as his wife. I was 17 years old at that time. Shortly after she introduced us, he got a building job in Jos, Plateau State, where he stayed for a year. It was after he returned that his aunt told him to marry me as his wife.

“My parents did not approve of the marriage. They said he was a drunkard and that it would be dangerous to marry an individual like him. But I refused to heed their advice. I said I would marry him because he loved me and I loved him too. I couldn’t see myself living without him. I told myself I would live with him be it in lack or abundance. This was despite my parents’ opposition to the marriage. So, I went ahead and got married to him. It was after we got married that it dawned on me what my parents said to me.

“The first year was pleasant. But after that, it was a living hell. Every day after our first anniversary was marred by fighting until the day he died. I didn’t have joy, not even for a single day.

“Before the stabbing incident that led to my husband’s death, we usually got food coupons which we use to collect food items given to returnee internally displaced persons. We usually get food assistance with the coupons, but my husband used to collect the food with the coupons and refused to bring the food items home for our use. He started indulging in selling the items and spent the proceeds on drinking of alcohol. This usually got us into a fight every time I challenged him over his actions. In his defence, he used to say my name was not on the food stamp. I couldn’t challenge him based on his argument. So, I ignored him. For my survival and that of my baby, who I was breastfeeding, I had to take up menial jobs because there was no food in the home. I usually go to any construction site to work as a labourer and get paid N1,000 for a day’s work. In Madaali, female labourers are usually paid N1,000 and I used the money to buy grains for our sustenance.

“But I don’t know how the information that I had taken up menial jobs as a labourer got to his aunt who became furious with me and informed my husband. I guess she spoke to him because he was also angry and he refused to eat the food I cooked with the grains. Later, his aunty also called me and spoke to me, asking me not to ever go out again to do hard labour. So on that fateful day, he came back home heavily drunk and started insulting me. His actions had been that way for over two weeks; each time he returned home drunk, he refused to eat my food. He only played with his daughter and went to bed.

“I regretted the whole incident. I wished I had allowed him to do whatever he wanted to do with me. I would have wished he remained in the world while I was the one who died. If I knew his stabbing could lead to his death I wouldn’t have done it. I just wanted him to feel the same pain he was inflicting on me with the knife. I really regret my actions.”