Celebrating Christmas abroad boring, we miss home – Nigerians in the Diaspora

Some Nigerians in the Diaspora, who are celebrating Christmas for the first time abroad, to share how they are coping with loneliness in new environments

Mr Chukwuemeka Okpara had always wanted to go to school abroad. Although his family’s income was below the middle class, he said he had the hope that he would one day move to the United Kingdom to get further education.

The 31-year-old Ugwueke indigene from the Bende Local Government Area of Abia State was hit with disappointment when his dad took ill and he had to stop school.

Being the last child and only boy, he had to wait for his siblings to move ahead so that the family’s finances would not be strained.

So, from 2008 when he left secondary school, he waited till July 2013 when his father eventually passed away.

Okpara, in an Interview with The Punch, stated, “It was a really tough time for me as a young man seeing all my mates get ahead. It was also tough for my mother, who was just a private school teacher. My siblings were also in school and were also struggling to make ends meet.

“While waiting for my father’s recovery, I decided to take the initiative to learn music, teach at a primary school in Lagos, and also develop myself at home.

“When my dad died, I knew that I needed to pick my life back up. I also knew that I was going to be doing that alone since I had no one to help me, but I trusted God to be my help at all times.”

Months later, Okpara enrolled to study Estate Management at the Yaba College of Technology for the National Diploma. That was one decision that changed a lot of things for him.

He had to virtually foot his own bills, live from hand to mouth, and live in lecture halls.

He added, “I slept and woke up in lecture halls. I would bathe, brush my teeth, and do everything on campus. I had nobody, but I knew I must survive.

“I couldn’t call home for any money because I knew there was none. It eventually paid off when I graduated in 2016 with a distinction. My CGPA was 3.65 out of 4.0.

“It made me so pleased but that was only the end of a phase and the beginning of another.”

Okpara said he took another risk by using some money he had saved up to purchase a post-Unified Matriculation Tertiary Examination form and was eventually admitted to study Estate Management at the University of Lagos, Akoka.

With no money in his pocket and his siblings still struggling to stand on their own, Okpara said he almost dropped out.

Eventually, during the COVID-19 period, he made the conscious decision to do home lessons and take up some odd jobs to make ends meet.

The efforts eventually paid off. He graduated with a first-class grade with a CGPA of 4.72 out of 5.0.

Okpara said he started harbouring thoughts of moving abroad in 2019 when some of his lecturers told him of the endless opportunities on the other side.

He narrated, “My lecturers, particularly Prof Oluseun Ajayi, looking at my career trajectory and seeing the struggle I had to go through during my time in school, told me to start considering options in the United States, Canada, South Africa, and the United Kingdom.

“I also started doing some research to find out some schools I would be able to attend. I even applied to some schools in the UK and got admitted to six, but lack of funds blew my chances away. I was so frustrated and I was so broken and just decided that, perhaps, it was not God’s will for me. The tuition was so huge and I knew I couldn’t pay.

“Prof Ajayi encouraged me and asked me not to give up. He told me how he got a scholarship to study abroad. The dream came back alive. I started discussing with other lecturers, including the Dean of my faculty, who studied at the University of Reading, England. I also worked as an estate valuer in Lagos, and there was still this longing in my heart to advance and go abroad in search of a better life.”

It took Okpara three years to finally move to the UK. A ray of sunshine came in August 2022 when he got admitted for a Master’s in Real Estate Management at the University of Reading.

He stated with a bright smile, “I just got an email that I was admitted. I was not really excited because I knew I could not foot the bills. But, in November, I got another email that stated that I could get a full scholarship if I applied for the African Real Estate Society scholarship in conjunction with the Reading Real Estate Foundation.

“I put in my application, wrote my essay, and I got a call-up and another mail in February 2023 that I had been granted a full scholarship. It was like good luck fell on my lap. I was overjoyed. It was a 100 per cent scholarship of over £20,000.”

After making a consultation and doing his research on how much he would need to study abroad, Okpara said he was overwhelmed. He needed over N10m if he wanted to actualise his dreams, even with a full scholarship to cover his tuition.

He noted, “I began to speak to everyone I knew to help fund my dream. Some people began to make contributions, but it was really not enough. It became a communal effort of some sort. I would send emails out to everyone I knew and send reminders, and all I could get was not even up to 10 per cent of what I needed.

“I eventually had to get a loan of N10m and sort out my proof of funds of around £9,207. I had to start paying interest, which when accumulated would be around N2.5m. I had no choice. I wanted to go to the UK and I had to do everything to make it work.

“Even in the UK here, I got another loan of around £1,200 from a society at Reading, which I hope to start repaying. When I look at my life, I don’t even know how I was able to do all that within a short period.

“If it were possible, I would have sold property. But, the only property we have is the house where my mum lives. I got in one month after the programme had even started.”

According to Okpara, life abroad is not as rosy as many people paint it to be. He added that he would go to school by 8am after an 11pm to 7am night shift at a factory.

“I would spend half my time in class sleeping. It is not a bed of roses here at all. There are opportunities but you will spend all your money paying bills, settling loans and sending back home, but I thank God for everything. I would not have it another way. It was a life of uncertainty but it is worth it,” he noted.

Okpara said before leaving for the UK for his master’s, he had not travelled abroad before for any reason.

He noted that the festive season for him had been cold and lonely.

He stated ruefully, “People don’t talk to you. They don’t greet you or visit you. Everyone is too busy. Sometimes, I sit back in my room and begin to think of my family back home and how Christmas would be bubbly over there even with the tough economic situation in Nigeria.

“I miss home. It gets really boring here sometimes. Being the first son and breadwinner in my family, whenever I call my mother and she begins to complain about how her health is deteriorating, it makes me feel really sad. But, leaving them behind is the one way I can make sure that I am there for them when they need me the most.

“I just wish I can get someone who will be willing to fund my education here so that I can concentrate and not be working so much. I honestly need to support my family financially.”

Okpara added that he told himself that when he came to the UK he would travel around Europe for Christmas, but decided against it when he looked at his pocket and the amount of school work he had to turn in January.

“I barely have time for myself but that is the life here. I look forward to seeing if I will get a surprise visit on Christmas Day or if anyone will send me a plate of jollof rice and chicken like neighbours used to do in Nigeria on days like this.

“I really miss Nigerian food. I came with some foodstuffs but they were not like back home. The range of options, the lifestyle and the connectivity are not here in the UK. Everyone is just so busy. Even when you greet some people, they may not respond,” he quipped, giving out a huge laugh.

Thirty-year-old indigene of Etsako East Local Government Area of Edo State, Mr Great Omueyaki, gave himself a four-year-plan to relocate to Canada.

After finishing his Higher National Diploma in Biochemistry from Auchi Polytechnic, Edo State, in 2016, he knew that he needed more out of life.

When former President Muhammadu Buhari was sworn in for the second term in 2019 and the economy took a downward turn, Omueyaki said his plans became really serious.

In an interview with The Punch, he said, “I got my passport, completed national service, got my transcript, and proposed to my wife. We eventually got married and had a child in 2022 and I knew that was the right time to put the plans in motion.

“It was a strong longing that I wanted my daughter to grow up in a saner environment and have an option of having another passport other than the Nigerian passport.

“I looked at the list of options I had and I chose Canada. I was still dragging my feet because of the money involved but after the last elections, I did everything legally possible to mop up forex and left Nigeria.

“For me, it was either I left Nigeria with my mind intact or I would lose my mind trying to survive the economy with my spouse and daughter.”

It eventually took him eight months – November 2022 to July 2023 – to complete the process, get admitted and move to Canada on a study visa.

Omueyaki said as he was working to get a study visa, he encouraged his wife to get a work visa, which also worked out.

He narrated, “It is not as easy as I am saying it. My wife and I saved up as a family. We didn’t really have to sell anything. We simply cut some costs and mopped up extra cash for a better future for our child, and I am so glad that it eventually paid off.

“Our properties are still very much intact back in Nigeria. I didn’t let go of any property besides letting go of a country I love with every drop of blood in me.

“When I remember the reason I decided to relocate, it brings me to tears. I feel sad every time, but the alternative was to stay back and go through the dark times with my family, and that was a no for me.”

Omueyaki said he misses his parents and siblings back home, especially in the festive season.

He added, “I know how we always rallied around ourselves, cooked and ate together and had a good laugh, but all that will not be possible now that I am abroad. It can be sad sometimes, I must admit.

“The fact that I will not experience a Naija Christmas makes me so sad. I think this period is probably the saddest I’ve been since my arrival. I am glad I got snow; my wife and child are here.

“I miss Nigerian cuisines cooked in Nigeria, but I do not miss the chaos that comes with Nigeria at all.”

The father of one said life abroad was peculiar; far from the optics one sees online.

He said he was still trying to conquer the culture shock and the struggle of building his ‘street credibility, social network and capital from scratch’, adding that it had been challenging.

Omueyaki said, “The hustle here has been hectic, but again, I was mentally ready for it before leaving Nigeria. Money is a problem, especially with how the naira is at the moment.

“It’s been a huge struggle, but we’re optimistic that this phase will go away soon enough.”

He also noted that taxes in his part of town were quite high, adding that there was no room for cutting corners abroad.

He noted, “Taxes are not something you can escape. You pay 13 per cent tax here on literally everything, although the tax rates differ from province to province.

“As for forex, the Nigerian government has a lot of work to do. Honestly, I don’t see a single ray of hope anywhere. As of this time last year, the Canadian dollar was exchanging for around N300. Today, it’s exchanging for around N930. That tells you that there is a plague in the land.”

He advised people who were aiming to come to Canada to ensure that they were financially ready, adding, “It is a financially demanding task.”